Hello,
So it has been a while, a very long while, a two years, divorce, homelessness, global pandemic kind of while but we are here now.
I began this blog at the very beginning of my PhD journey wide eyed and bushy tailed like at the beginning of every exciting adventure story and just like those childhood tails I return to you, from the silence, a changed character but carrying trophies from my travels.
At the beginning of this process way back in 2017 I was living the picture perfect life: newly married, living in my cute house, in my dream town, with a beautiful young baby in my arms and then after years of dedication I was offered the scholarship to pursue my PhD! It really was the cherry on top of the winning at life cake.
Within months, however, it had all crumbled away and I was back living in my parents spare room, in a not so dream like town, cramming my life and my baby in to said room, with everything had been working towards hanging by a thread and my mental resilience on the floor and a few health issues to boot.
I continued, however, gripping tight to the shining light at the end of the tunnel that was my PhD. I designed and carried out my field work, whilst negotiating co-parenting schedules and drop off arrangements between two different cities. I studied at the library whilst living in the back of my car for weeks at a time, I survived countless panic attacks on trains to meetings with little progress to show, after a while it all just became too much. I needed a place to stay on campus, to pay for child care, to care for myself.
So I took the decision to move to part time for my PhD and pick up some part time work. I lucked out I picked up some amazing, relevant, researcher part time work, I got a student flat, by the skin of my teeth passed my second PhD progress review, my little one was happy in their nursery and I was on a deep healing journey of self discovery, things where coming up Charlotte...
and then Covid hit.
I couldn't stay in the flat with my little one, they couldn't be in child care, I couldn't complete the PhD field work I had planned and survival mode was back on.
Now I know this is global phenomenon, not just the pandemic but the wild crazy ride that is life impacting many post graduate researchers, students, tutors, parents, children, partners etc...
I just want you to know I see you, keep going you are doing well.
Momentum is progress!
rest is progress!
taking a few steps back is progress!
So I am due to start year 4, the final countdown, the last hurrah for this to all work out and for some, maybe naive, reason I have full knowing that it will.
If the past few years and even the past few days have taught me anything it's that it really is never too late to get up, dust yourself off and try again.
If writing this blog has taught me anything it's that I write in lists too often and over use the word "however" and that my friends is the kind of progress I am talking about.
Until the next time
C
xxxx
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